I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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