so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize