We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
