How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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