oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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