since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
