I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
