We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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