If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
