connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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