He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wish there were birth control emojis
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
