she woke up with a sticky ear
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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