Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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