I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
