Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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