I love black thongs
someone threw a dead crab at me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny