TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.