i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.