I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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