Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
