Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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