you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
