mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
