I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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