that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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