You're completely useless in the revolution.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
