sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this is an emotional support booty call
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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