My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
MIDGETS
????
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize