Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize