So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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