Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
