peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
