OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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