If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
