i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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