i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
