u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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