last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
