Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
