is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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