as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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