just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
