we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
