Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
did i just pee glitter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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