stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
