My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
