As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
