his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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