she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wear drunk well.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize