and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
