Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
