@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
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you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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