what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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