we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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