My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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