He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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