Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
