Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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