hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
