I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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